Kith, A DCC Patron

    When I wrote this I was thinking only of the Kids in the Hall, and totally forgot that the Kith were already a thing in Dungeon Crawl Classics. Oh well, I wrote it and I'm not redoing it yet.

    You can download the KiTH here


    The KiTH

    the Laughing Faces of the North

    The KiTH is an assemblage of spirits of mirth from the Frozen North whose patronage has been sought out by people from many different lands. As spirits of mirth the KiTH delight in laughter and merry-making, but their mischief can run to the dark and deadly side. Supplicants of the KiTH who endure their patrons’ capricious nature tell tales of laughter and joy granted upon them that enabled them survive even the coldest winters of the North.

    To form a bond with the KiTH one must sequester themselves in a dark room with a magical viewing portal for 1d6+2 straight days of laughter, thought, and more laughter while suffering 1d4 Stamina loss.

    Invoke PatronResult
    12-13The KiTH barely takes notice of your pleas and sends a spirit to insult the weight of one target lowering its morale for -2 for 1d6+CL rounds.
    14-17The KiTH are mischievous spirits who have stolen your weapon. If someone within your party will loan you an equivalent weapon you gain +2 to hit and +1 damage for the day while attacking with that weapon. However you must pay the PC the cost of the weapon in coin or goods. Within the next 1d3 days when you awake your original weapon will reappear, and the bonus to attacks ends.
    18-19A barber stool magically appears within 30’ of the caster. A spirit sits down into the chair and begins telling outlandish yarns. All creatures with 15’ must pass a DC 15 Will save or become enraptured by the stories for 1d3+CL rounds.
    20-23The KiTH finds your situation hilarious, but understands your dismay. They send an animal skin wearing fur trapper to carry you and 1d6 allies to safety in a canoe up to a mile away. The canoe can travel over land, water, air, or other materials without suffering damage.
    24-27The ghostly spirit of the caster’s father appears to offer you highly questionable and drunken advice while drinking from a bottle of spirit ale. If the caster follows this advice they are granted +1d3
    28-29A man in a gorilla costume appears and scares away all creatures of 2HD or less within 30’. The man then removes the gorilla head and begins to tell the story of the plight of the Ape-men, gorillas, monkeys, or other simian-like creatures. All creatures within 50’ must pass a DC 30 Will check or suffer -4 to all rolls for the next hour.
    30-31The KiTH find the entire situation too somber. Irresistible magical drinks appear floating in front of the caster’s upraised hand. Choose three+CL targets to serve tasty and intoxicating beverages. Upon imbibing the drinks the targets are overcome by the desire to expound upon every little thought that comes to their drunken mind. The targets are inebriated for 8 hours suffering a -4 to all rolls. Afterwards the targets suffer a fearsome hangover of -2 to all rolls for 1d8 hours.
    32+As the caster invokes the KiTH two magnificently stunning individuals appear before the caster: a lady in an elegant red dress walking seductively back and forth, and the other a suave man in a white linen suit and Panama hat waving a handgun around. This carries on for 1d8+CL rounds. Each round the lady distracts up to four enemies, while the man plays Russian Roulette with the caster’s enemies. Russian roulette is resolved by rolling a die equal to the number of enemies plus 1. If a one is rolled the man shoots himself and disappears. Otherwise the man shoots a target for 4d8 damage.

    Patron Taint: KiTH

    When patron taint is indicated for KiTH roll 1d6 on the table below. When a caster has acquired all six taints at all levels of effect, there is no need to continue rolling any more.

    RollResult
    1The spirits of mirth have infected the caster. Whenever the caster speaks they finish their words with a quiet giggle as if they know a joke that no one else is in on. Upon the second roll of this result the caster will burst out in response to other’s comments even when they aren’t trying to be funny. The third roll of this result causes the caster to burst into laughter anytime they open their mouth to speak when not telling a joke.
    2The caster begins growing a beard and becomes enamored with it. When rolled a second time the beard grants the caster the ability to recover 1 Luck when resting at least 8 hours, but the caster’s obsession with their own beard leads to a -1 Personality decrease when they have a beard. If rolled a third time, the caster’s belief in their beard has overtaken their mental state. The caster becomes delusional believing all others seek to shave the caster’s beard. Once a day the caster must pass a DC 15 Personality check or suffer a -1 Personality and Stamina penalty for the day. If the caster decides to shave their beard they will suffer a -1 to all rolls for 1d6 days until the beard regrows.
    3The caster’s appearance begins turning into that of a chicken lady. The face elongates, the skin turns white, and their nose lengthens. If this is rolled a second time, the transformation furthers. The caster begins growing feathers and their lips turn into a beak. The caster has an overwhelming urge to devour any worms they see. Upon the third roll of this result the caster’s head completes the transformation into a chicken lady. The caster’s cheeks are covered in blush, their hair turns white and curly, and they only will wear dresses. When near a male human or demi-human the caster can’t control themselves and constantly tries to appeal to them sexually. As a side benefit of becoming a chicken lady the caster can create 1d4 chicken eggs each day.
    4I am animal! The caster takes on the aspect of a random animal. This can be the decision of the judge or chosen randomly from the following list (1d6): (1) wolf; (2) tiger; (3) salamander; (4) bear; (5) little bunny; (6) . The caster paints symbols on their skin and only refers to themselves as the chosen animal. If rolled a second time the caster must perform a ceremony around a fire every 1d6 night proclaiming their nature as the chosen animal, and their most inane inner thoughts. When rolled a third time the caster only wears the skin of the chosen animal, and behaves as the animal would, making animal sounds and acting the predator or the prey as needed.
    5The caster is going through a life crisis, and embraces their childhood dream of becoming a firefighter. When next near a town the caster seeks to purchase at least 50 gp x CL of firefighting equipment, such as water buckets, or a wagon to carry water in. When rolled a second time the caster selects one party member at random each day and attempts to carry them along in a fireman’s carry for the rest of the day and can only wield axes or water pumps as weapons. If the result is rolled a third time, the caster becomes single minded and only desires to travel where they can fight fires. If a fire occurs, even a friendly fireball or torch the caster will stop at nothing to extinguish the fire.
    6When casting any spell thirty different looking women of a variety of races, all incredulously named Helen, spontaneously appear within earshot of the caster. In a chorus the thirty Helens will collectively disagree or agree with the caster’s actions for the next 1d6 rounds after which they will stroll away in separate directions and magically return home unharmed. This clamour of judgement distracts all creatures within 20’, friend or foe, who must make a DC 8 Will save or suffer -1 to all rolls. When rolling this result a second time the agreement or disagreement with the caster’s actions has consequences for the caster. Agreement is determined by the roll of a d6. Results greater than 3 mean agreement, less disagreement. Agreement results in a +1 to any roll, except damage, and disagreement means a -1 to any roll, except damage. If rolled a third time, an ever changing set of thirty Helens follows the caster at all hours of the day and night. The Helens cannot be harmed, will not heed dismissal, nor engage in combat. They will, not so quietly, pass judgement upon the caster’s actions for the rest of the caster’s life.

    Patron Spells: KiTH

    The KiTH grant three unique spells, as follows: The Monkeys, Husk Musk, and Head Crusher

    Spellburn: KiTH

    KiTH has little love for those that walk on the land and will only lend her strength sparingly. When a caster utilizes spellburn, roll a 1d4 and consult the table below or use the table below to inspire your own results.

    RollSpellburn Result
    1A regulation shirlers cobra slithers in front of the caster and begins spraying them with venom. If the caster resists or flees the spellburn fails. If the caster does not then the venom drains away the lifeforce of the caster (expressed as Stamina, Strength, or Agility loss). One day this will be as popular as monster truck rallies.
    2The KiTH giggle in delight as the caster’s head turns to cabbage while casting. The caster receives only 1 point of spellburn for every 2 points of attributes burned.
    3The caster begins seeing fanciful visions of the KiTH making merry, driving the caster crazy with laughter. The caster must succeed on a DC 15 Will save or be unable to cast spells for 1d3 rounds due to the lack of concentration. If the caster succeeds on the Will save, the caster gains a +1 bonus to all future attempts at the spell as long as they are laughing.
    4The caster is granted the spellburn bonus, but must make the judge laugh at least once before the session is over or the caster does not regain the burned stat points.

    Husk Musk

    Level 1 (KiTH)Range: 120’Duration: VariesCasting time: 1 actionSave: Will save vs check
    GeneralThe caster dons the aspect of ST and gains a wildy manipulative body odor.
    ManifestationRoll 1d4: (1) As the caster cast the spell 1d4 randomly determined nearby creatures become infatuated with the caster; (2) the armpits of the caster’s clothing becoming soaking with sweat; (3) a set of fans appear behind the caster fanning the odor around; (4) the odor emanating from the caster
    1Lost, failure, and patron taint
    2-11Lost. Failure.
    12-13The caster raises their arms up and begins whaffing their armpits. A single target must make a Will save or fall under the caster’s complete control, as if it were his friend. However, the target will not perform actions that are suicidal or which a devoted friend would not otherwise perform. Unfortunately, the target’s willpower must be forcibly subverted for the caster to exercise control, so it is but a shell of its former self, operating at a -2 penalty to all rolls, saves, checks, and ability scores while under the wizard’s control. The target receives another save to break the hold of the caster’s musk according to its original Intelligence, as follows: Int 3-6 = one month; Int 7-9 = three weeks; Int 10-11 = two weeks; Int 12-15= one week; Int 16-17 = three days; Int 18+ = next day. The caster grows a magnificent mane of hair.
    14-17The caster raises their arms up and begins whaffing their armpits. A single target must make a Will save or fall under the caster’s complete control, as if it were his friend. However, the target will not perform actions that are suicidal or which a devoted friend would not otherwise perform. The target is able to operate at full normal functionality while under the spell of the caster’s musk. The target receives another save to break the hold of the caster’s musk according to its original Intelligence, as follows: Int 3-6 = one month; Int 7-9 = three weeks; Int 10-11 = two weeks; Int 12-15= one week; Int 16-17 = three days; Int 18+ = next day. The caster grows a magnificent mane of hair and a wicked mustache.
    18-19The caster raises their arms up and begins whaffing their armpits. The wizard can target a number of creatures equal to his caster level. Each target must make a Will save or fall under the caster’s complete control, as if it were his friend. However, the target will not perform actions that are suicidal or which a devoted friend would not otherwise perform. The target is able to operate at full normal functionality while under the spell of the caster’s musk. The target receives another save to break the hold of the caster’s musk according to its original Intelligence, as follows: Int 3-6 = one month; Int 7-9 = three weeks; Int 10- 11 = two weeks; Int 12-15= one week; Int 16-17 = three days; Int 18+ = next day. All creatures within 10’ regrow their hair to shoulder length or longer.
    20-23The caster whaff their musk towards a number of creatures equal to 1d6 + caster level. Each target must make a Will save or fall under the caster’s complete control, as if it were his friend. However, the target will not perform actions that are suicidal or which a devoted friend would not otherwise perform. The target is able to operate at full normal functionality while under the spell of the caster’s musk. The target receives another save to break the hold of the caster’s musk according to its original Intelligence, as follows: Int 3-6 = one month; Int 7-9 = three weeks; Int 10-11 = two weeks; Int 12-15= one week; Int 16-17 = three days; Int 18+ = next day. All creatures within 20’ regrow their hair to shoulder length or longer.
    24-27The caster whaff their musk towards a number of creatures equal to 2d6 + caster level. Each target must make a Will save or fall under the caster’s complete control, as if it were his friend. However, the target will not perform actions that are suicidal or which a devoted friend would not otherwise perform. The target is able to operate at full normal functionality while under the spell of the caster’s musk. The target receives another save to break the hold of the caster’s musk according to its original Intelligence, as follows: Int 3-6 = one month; Int 7-9 = three weeks; Int 10-11 = two weeks; Int 12-15= one week; Int 16-17 = three days; Int 18+ = next day. All creatures within 30’ regrow their hair to shoulder length or longer.
    28-29The caster whaffs their musk towards a number of creatures equal to 3d6 + caster level. Targets of equal to or less HD than the caster do not receive a save. Those with greater HD than the caster must make a Will save or fall under the wizard’s complete control, as if it were his friend. However, the target will not perform actions that are suicidal or which a devoted friend would not otherwise perform. The target is able to operate at full normal functionality while under the spell of the caster’s musk. The target receives another save to break the hold of the caster’s musk according to its original Intelligence, as follows: Int 3-6 = one month; Int 7-9 = three weeks; Int 10-11 = two weeks; Int 12-15= one week; Int 16-17 = three days; Int 18+ = next day. All friendly allies within 10’ heal 1HD of health.
    30-31The caster’s musk can influence the emotions of large groups of people, including crowds of public spectators or armies of angry warriors. The caster can attempt to whaff their musk up to 100 people at once, as long as they are within his unaided line of sight – there is no effective range limit, and the targets need not be grouped together. Targets of equal to or less HD than the caster do not receive a save. Those with greater HD than the caster receive a Will save. Failure indicates the targets fall under the caster’s complete control and consider him their close friend. The targets receive another save to break the the hold of the caster’s musk according to their original Intelligence, as follows: Int 3-6 = one month; Int 7-9 = three weeks; Int 10-11 = two weeks; Int 12- 15= one week; Int 16-17 = three days; Int 18+ = next day. All friendly allies within 30’ heal 2HD of health and grow a magnificent mane of hair and a wicked mustache.
    32+Same as the above, but allies heal 3HD of health, and a mysterious pile of 6d6 gp appears at the foot of the caster.

    The Monkeys

    Level 2 (KiTH)Range: 30’ or moreDuration: variesCasting time: 1 actionSave: Will save vs spell check DC
    GeneralThe caster summons forth a locked container containing vicious, mean-spirited monkeys. Just remember that it’s not having the monkeys that confers the power, it’s threatening to let the monkeys loose that does.
    ManifestationRoll 1d4: (1) a giant wooden box wrapped in chains falls from the sky and lands upright. From within you can hear howling and banging; (2) a large metal cage springs up from the ground containing a troop of monkeys struggling to get out; (3) the caster doffs their cap and a small glass box with air holes falls to the ground then enlarges showing agitated monkeys within; (4) A barrel comes rolling down from a mysterious ramp rolling to a halt in front of the caster. Within is a barrel full of monkeys hammering away at the lid and sides.
    1Lost, failure, and patron taint
    2-11Lost. Failure.
    12-13Failure, but spell is not lost
    14-15The caster summons a box full of mean-spirited monkeys who howls and carryings-on frightens all non-friendly creatures within 20’. Each round all non-friendly creatures within range are forced to make Will save or flee. The box disappears after 1d6 rounds.
    16-19The caster summons a box full of mean-spirited monkeys who howls and carryings-on frightens all non-friendly creatures within 20’. Each round all non-friendly creatures are forced to make Will save or flee. Those who stay must make a Will save of DC 16 or suffer -2 to all rolls for the remainder of combat. The box disappears after 1d6+CL rounds.
    20-21The caster summons a box full of mean-spirited monkeys who howls and carryings-on frightens all non-friendly creatures within 30’. Each round all non-friendly creatures are forced to make Will save or flee. Those who stay must make a Will save of DC 16 or suffer -2 to all rolls for the remainder of combat. The box disappears after 1d6+CL rounds. One of the monkeys has escaped from the box. The monkey will attack any creature, friend or foe, within range. See stats below. The monkey disappears after 1d6+CL rounds or combat ends.
    22-25The caster summons a box full of mean-spirited monkeys who howls and carryings-on frightens all non-friendly creatures within 30’. Creatures of 1HD or less are automatically frightened; each round all other non-friendly creatures are forced to make Will save or flee. The box disappears after 1d8+CL rounds. Those who stay must make a Will save of DC 20 or suffer -2 to all rolls for the remainder of combat.
    26-29The caster summons a box full of mean-spirited monkeys who howls and carryings-on frightens all non-friendly creatures within 30’. Creatures of 2HD or less are automatically frightened; each round all other non-friendly creatures are forced to make Will save or flee. Those who stay must make a Will save of DC 20 or suffer -2 to all rolls for the remainder of combat. The box disappears after 1d8+CL rounds. Two of the monkeys have escaped the box. The monkeys will attack any creature, friend or foe, within range. See stats below. The monkeys disappear after 1d8 rounds or combat ends.
    30-31The caster summons a box full of mean-spirited monkeys who howls and carryings-on frightens all non-friendly creatures within 100’. Creatures of 3HD or less are automatically frightened; each round all other non-friendly creatures are forced to make Will save or flee. The box disappears after 1d12+CL rounds. Those who stay must make a Will save of DC 25 or suffer -4 to all rolls for the remainder of combat.
    32-33The caster summons a box full of mean-spirited monkeys who howls and carryings-on frightens all non-friendly creatures within 100’. Creatures of 3HD or less are automatically frightened; each round all other non-friendly creatures are forced to make Will save or flee. Those who stay must make a Will save of DC 25 or suffer -4 to all rolls for the remainder of combat. The box disappears after 1d12+CL rounds. Three of the monkeys have escaped the box. The monkeys will attack any creature, friend or foe, within range. See stats below. The monkeys disappear after 1d12+CL rounds or combat ends.
    34+The caster summons a box full of mean-spirited monkeys who howls and carryings-on frightens all non-friendly creatures within 100’. Creatures of 3HD or less are automatically frightened; each round all other non-friendly creatures are forced to make Will save or flee. The box disappears as all 1d8+CL of the monkeys have escaped the box. The monkeys will attack any creature, friend or foe, within range. See stats below. The monkeys disappear after 1d12+CL rounds or combat ends. Better to leave now before the monkeys take over the town.

    Head Crusher

    Level 3 (KiTH)Range: 50’ or moreDuration: InstantaneousCasting time: 1 actionSave: Reflex vs spell check
    GeneralThe caster calls upon the power of MM to crush their foes' heads as they squint through their fingers to target them.
    ManifestationRoll 1d4: (1) caster’s fingers grow to the size of a giant as they cast the spell; (2) the caster’s fingers begin to glow; (3) a floating symbol appears above those the caster is targeting while casting this spell; (4) the caster has become the archenemy, the face pincher. The caster’s fingers now point upright and grow 3 sizes larger.
    1Lost, failure, and patron taint
    2-11Lost. Failure.
    12-15Failure but spell is not lost
    16-17The caster crushes a target’s head up to 100’ away, doing 3d6+CL damage.
    18-21The caster crushes two targets’s heads up to 120’ away, doing 4d6+CL damage.
    22-23The caster rapidly crushes 1d4+1 targets' heads up to 120’ away. The first target takes 5d6+CL damage, the second 4d6+CL damage, the third 3d6+CL damage, the fourth 2d6+CL damage, and the fifth 1d6+CL damage.
    24-26The caster rapidly crushes 1d6+1 targets' heads up to 120’ away. The first target takes 6d6+CL damage, the second 5d6+CL damage, the third 4d6+CL damage, the fourth 3d6+CL damage, and the fifth 2d6+CL damage and the sixth and seventh take 1d6+CL damage each.
    27-31The caster rapidly crushes all targets within 50’. Each target takes 4d6+CL damage.
    32-33The caster violently crushes a single target up to 200’ away, doing 10d6 damage+CL damage. All enemies within 20’ of the target must make a Will save vs spell check or flee from battle for 1d6 rounds.
    34-35The caster calls forth a pair of giant floating hands from the ground which target two creatures up to 500’ away, doing 14d6+CL damage. The caster must have line-of-sight to their target, but they can cast around obstructions in this manner. For example, they may be able to view the target through a periscope or via a crystal ball of some kind.
    36+The caster points towards an area at least 20’ away where the ground erupts from below as a mountain of earth slams down from above on an area 50’ wide damaging all within for 12d6+CL damage. Any creatures within the rubble must make a Fort Save vs spell check or begin suffocating and losing 1d4 points of Stamina per round.
    Once again, you can download the Kith here